I love you, love you

I was going about my day with my boys. It was just like any other day. Wake up make a bottle , change diapers, make breakfast, make sure the kids brush their teeth, start school work, your typical everyday stay at home mom stuff. Yet, for some reason I couldn’t help but feel a rush of emotions. Today is not a special day.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened. In fact it was pretty much business as usual. Then it hit me. It hit me when my son said “ I love you, love you”.

It was just a few years ago I started saying that to my boys and husband. I said that when you love someone so much , saying it just once isn’t enough. I started saying it because just a few years ago my twin brother passed. I was pregnant and shortly after gave birth to a child with a lot of health issues. I was scared and grieving. I remember the first time I said “ I love you,love you” was to my baby boy.

I was afraid he wasn’t going to leave the hospital so saying it once just wasn’t enough. My baby was going to know how much I loved him.

Going through everything we have in the past few years has tested my family and my marriage. Through it all, one thing stayed the same. Our love for our children and each other.

It got me thinking. Through all the darkness our love for our boys and one another has always pulled us through. So while today was not a special day . In some ways it was. People are afraid of going to the market or seeing love ones. People are afraid of the uncertainty that we are living. But my little boys who know not much of what is going on are as happy as can be.

I realized in that moment how grateful I am that they are healthy. How fortunate we are to still have an income. I was happy. My brother’s passing was and still is very difficult for me but for the first time in a very long time. I was happy.

So mama’s in a time of uncertainty and darkness look for your light. My boys and my husband are mine. For some it might be a hidden talent. Or a great book. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you find it. See, our littles know more than we think. Don’t let the world’s darkness put out their light.

Today started like any other day. Except come tomorrow I’ll huge a little longer. Enjoy the laughter and let the little things go. All because of my not so ordinary day.

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